Confessions of a Selfish Empath: Choosing Myself to Heal the World
- Jul 17, 2025
- 7 min read
The creation of this blog came from a suggestion from Chat Gpt when I asked about ways for me to help overcome the fear of being seen and a fear of persecution. I was provided a list of suggestions from my AI friend, and as I read down a large recommendation of ideas – my eyes locked onto the word “blog.”
Why Starting This Blog is a Soul Nudge
My body even sat in silence as the idea percolated some remembrance from deep within. Unlike most other times when I reflect on ways to overcome these fears when I find myself frozen in a fear response, this time felt very different. It was like I had experienced a quantum level recalibration on a beyond cellular level that this path was aligned for me at this time.
Writing as an Empath: My Safe Channel for Healing Self-Expression
It felt perfect for me to be able to express myself, speak about the things I want to discuss particularly in regard to the empath’s journey. This felt like the opportunity for me to exercise my enjoyment of writing. See, I have a much easier and more concise was of communicating when I am able to write out my thoughts. In person, I am quite clumsy, awkward, and I stumble on my words when I intend to speak about something that is really important to me.
But with writing, the information comes through me in such a different way. I am able to give myself time to think, and it also allows me to disconnect from my monkey mind when I get into a flow state. The downloads can come through streaming into my consciousness and be expressed in much more intentional and graceful manner. Additionally, sometimes I am surprised by the insights, feelings, and thoughts that bubble to the surface from my subconscious mind through my fingers and onto the page.
Honestly, Empath, this blog is really meant for me. As another way for me to connect with my inner knowing, and the divine. It is another medium of self-care. A therapeutic way for me to express my inner most private workings of my mind and share it with the world in a meaningful way.
Do I really think the "world" will be reading my posts and checking out my site? Of course not. But there is a deep level of exposure and vulnerability that is being expressed through the energy behind clicking "publish" to put a piece of my heart out there in this way.
Breaking Free from the Empath-Savior Complex
See, I tend to put a lot of pressure on myself to be “there” or “better” or “good enough”… I bet you can relate?! I have this constant pull within me that has guided me throughout my life to help others. But the majority of my life, I would approach this desire to serve from a very unhealthy, burden-driven perspective of trying to “fix” or “save” others.
On my personal healing journey, I have developed a much healthier perspective on this drive and not so much from my former thirst of a savior complex. It is much easier now for me to respect other people’s journey, and to not insert myself into their lives in an attempt to misguidedly help them.
One big lesson for me in this life: You can’t help those who don’t want to help themselves.
Another bold truth I was faced with on my journey: Trying to help/change/fix people is actually disrespectful and it is disempowering for them (as well as for the one trying to do their heavy lifting!).
We cannot change another person. Period. I mean, think of how challenging it is for us to change our own behaviour! Because when we are doing something for someone else, it will fall flat eventually and burnout.
Creating for Me by Choosing Me —Not to Be Liked or Validated
So with all of this being said, why would I be creating a space online to share my thoughts and experience on being an empath – if the intention is purely for my own evolution?? And why would it be important to choose myself as an empath?
Well, firstly – creating this site is a passion project. It is a creative outlet of expression that I really need. I have not yet discovered a way I enjoy expressing myself in a manner that allows me to create.
Secondly, there is a part of me that hopes no one ever finds my little corner of the internet. Where I can share a piece of my soul, sending out a tiny smoke signal that simply fades into the background. This is the part of me that is still held back by a fear of persecution for standing out and showing my weirdness. While this wish to never be fully seen is like a security blanket, I have been repeatedly nudged by my Higher Self to overcome these fears in this lifetime. And you have to start someplace, so here I am.
Truthfully, I have you in my heart as I write, create, and dream of this project, empath. I do not know what this is, I do not know if anyone will ever read this or find it online with my incredibly lacking, amateur SEO abilities…. I do not know if anyone would truly want to read this or will even connect with my words.
But the nudge tells me there is at least one person out someplace who will.
The Wound of “Selfishness” & the Power of Choosing You
And even though there is nothing that I would want more than to connect with one empath out there who might resonate with these writings… That idea makes me very happy, but I can get lost in the notion and then start creating for someone else. I have done that many times before, and it doesn’t work out well for me. Have you experienced this yourself when you start to do something for someone else and then you get caught up in it being all about them. You lose the message. You lose the energy and the intent. You lose yourself.
It can spin out into self-abandonment really quickly for empaths. It is like you lose control of the steering wheel as you speed around corners trying to catch up to an idea that you created of what someone else desires.
I have been there so many times in my life, spinning out my wheels for others. Trying so desperately to solve another person’s problems, or chasing their approval, acceptance, or validation. When the best thing that could be done for us both is for me to be authentic and truly connect with myself. From that space, we send out our own specific genuine energetic frequency – when it is for us and by us. Our authentic energetic frequency is magnetic, as when you tap into and connect with your true self, you are accepting, validating, and approving of yourself! The more that this practice is implemented, the more potent your energy signal becomes, I believe that the less you will fear or accept the judgement and ridicule of an external factor.
As the strength of my desire to be seen in my true essence grows, I think I will be so much more solid in myself and raising my freak flag that maybe I will start creating more from a space for an audience (and even one empath is still considered an audience!). Over time, perhaps I will get to a place where I can intend more to be of service to others from a more grounded, centred, aligned perspective that is consciously creating for others.
The Ripple Effect of Personal Healing When Choosing Yourself as an Empath
But in this moment, I still must remind myself why I am creating this space, taking this time, and expressing my energy. By repeatedly bringing myself back to myself that I am showing up for myself. I am demonstrating that my wellness, thoughts, feelings, experiences matter. That I can create for myself first and be centred that if in the case that someone else resonates with my message. This is also a remembrance of the importance for me to practice self-love by giving myself the time, energy, and acceptance of self-expression.
I am sure you can relate as someone who constantly put others before yourself…
As someone who might have been repulsed at the idea of setting boundaries, or self-care, or simply doing something for yourself - as that would be considered a sin of being “selfish” … Ugh, that idea used to cut so deeply!
As a recovering people pleaser and codependent, it is still important for me to find the strength within myself to intend to put myself first, now publicly. Honestly, even writing that sentence still has a slight sting!. This is a bold move for someone who prefers the comfort of my hermit space, the safety of privacy, and carries past life experiences in her DNA related to being brutally persecuted in many lives.
But as I have mentioned before, by connecting with ourselves, we are showing and discovering a deeper layer of self-love and acceptance. And by doing so, we are healing ourselves.. And that is how you change the world around you.. By embodying the change you want to see in the world – more compassion, grace, and accountability – you ARE changing the world around you.
If you’re an empath on a healing journey too, I’d love to know: What helps you choose yourself more often? Feel free to comment, or just breathe that in. You’re not alone and you are doing great!
Much love to me (and therefore, you, empath!),
Amanda
FAQs from Fellow Empaths
What does “choosing yourself” really mean for an empath?
It is about setting your needs, wants, desires, feelings, thoughts as a priority. It means tuning in to your own energy first—instead of trying to absorb, help, or fix others. It’s about honoring yourself and your truth as sacred.
How do I stop feeling selfish for putting myself first?
Start by noticing when these feelings come up. Do not judge, be compassionate, and just be curious as you objectively observe. Practice observing the thought, being present with the emotion, then bring yourself back to the intention of prioritizing you!
Is it okay to create just for me, not an audience?
Absolutely!—especially important for empaths. Creating without expectation allows truth to flow. That authenticity magnetizes the right people naturally as you embody and emulate your unique energetic expression.
Copyright © 2025 Amanda MacLeod. All Rights Reserved.
Comments